It has been 4 months now since Thomas grew his wings and went to heaven. For some reason, this milestone really hit me hard. It feels like the numbess is wearing off, and the loss of our angel has happened all over again. My husband and I went out to dinner one night last week to try and get our minds off things. Not surprisingly, we talked about Thomas the entire time. I was dying for a sign that he was okay with God. I just wanted to know that my baby was being taken care of. As we were walking out of the restaurant to the car, my husband looked up at the sky and saw a rainbow. He looked at me and said, "Look up." And as I saw this beautiful site, I got goosebumps. It was as if Thomas heard our conversation over dinner, and answered our pray. He knew his Mommy and Daddy were sad, and sent us a sign. For many that do not know the "language" of baby loss, a "rainbow baby" is the child you have after your loss. It is like a rainbow after the storm. We have seen several rainbows since Thomas has died, but this one was very special. As we looked at the sky closer, we noticed that there were TWO rainbows. Then I started to tear up. To my husband and I, the double rainbow symbolized our Thomas in heaven, and our future rainbow baby. It felt like he was up there getting to know his sibling, before sending him or her down to his Mommy and Daddy. And as we drove home that night, I told my husband, "What an amazing son we have."
